So at this time I was praying daily and taking frequent walks up into the forest to a cemented catch-water that ran along the valley hillsides above our village. It had a wide paved road for service vehicles by the deep cemented river channel where we saw turtles and one time a baby barking deer! I used to go up there to pray a lot. One time I was up there and God asked me point blank if I wanted to be a prophet. He said I could be one if I wanted to.
I thought about it for a while.
Well, I guess so. It’s not going to be a problem or anything, right?
But the question also confused me. I was prophesying a long time already, at least I was getting dreams, a few visions and things already. What would it mean to NOW be a prophet? How is prophesying different from being a prophet?
The next day up there again and God asked me if I wanted to raise the dead. I avoid death and horror movies and anything of the sort. I don’t want the spirit of death anywhere near me, but then I thought, well, if someone died and I could raise them back to life, it would mean so much to their kids or parents or just the family and friends in general. If I could do that and refused, I would feel awful.
I just then found a dead lizard, a small gecko, all dried up, and laid my fingers on it and told it to rise up, come back from the dead. I waited. It ignored me. Hmm, there must be something more to this than just using the right words. ‘OK,’ I said, ‘Yes. I will raise the dead.’ I just needed him to teach me how. Later he said, of both offers I think, “The price / burden is high.” The price to walk with God in a high calling is high. But that would not deter me.
God the Provider
When my wife was praying about my law school debt, she saw a vision of a hill and it was split in half so you could walk through the middle of it. God would ‘split’ it in half maybe? Anyway we’d get ‘through’ it.
And I was fighting to carry the weight of this season, knowing I was following God but also fearful I was about to collapse. I had no fellowship, no support, no friends but a lot of naysayers and discouragement—and then I found this prophetic word that I got from the ICA church six or seven years before. It was exactly what I needed to hear right now! It was this:
You Are Not a Failure
“You are not a failure. From your mother’s womb I created you to be unique. I have plans for you. I have a destiny for you. From your mother’s womb I created you. Do not be like Gideon who thought he was too small—the Angel of the Lord is there to fight for you. You are a mighty man of valour. {have faith in God, not trust in the flesh} … I have plans for you to prosper and not harm you. There will be a change of circumstances as God rearranges the situation. A change of accommodations. Tell your elders what God is doing in your life, bit by bit, tell the elders. And when it is hard, set your face like flint. Follow God’s purpose. Prophesy for God’s glory NOT YOUR OWN. A pillar in God’s building. I saw a pillar of strength. Strength and Determination, Conviction, Faith. A small room does not need a pillar, but a large building to allow open spaces.” [End]
Wow, that was from ICA six years before! People were hearing God like that right at ICA and I missed it! Maybe we could have skipped six years of this wilderness—well, maybe not entirely but God had been moving right there like this the whole time!
And what did God mean, Prophesy for HIS GLORY not my own? I didn’t ‘prophesy’ like that. A pillar? Unique. Don’t be like Gideon. These ideas stayed with me, guiding me ever since. But right in the middle was that same phrase, burned into my memory from reading that word, ‘A Special Woman For You’ so many times over and over, “I have plans for you to prosper and not harm you.” What did it mean?
Then we began to have occasional weeknight prayer meetings, like a home group, they called a Home Cell, and one time I was praying about my overall situation and suddenly … oh, no! … God was about to show me something absolutely terrifying.
Vision of Satan’s Fortress
I published this vision later in our prophecy journal, HKI; it has a slightly different tone than I am writing in now. Just go with it!
But what happened was we were praying at home for breakthrough during a time of intense intercession. The Holy Spirit’s presence was so powerful that it felt like we were standing in spiritual fire. I was proclaiming the Lord’s promises in the strongest faith I had; I demanded breakthrough in Jesus’ name against Satan regarding my finances, and in the flow of the Holy Spirit I quoted the strongest promises I knew. I was desperate.
Then I sensed the presence of a stronghold of Satan as if I was approaching it, as it were, just around the corner. I could not see it yet but I knew I was about to. I froze—what would I see? I was thinking it would be some kind of great fortress from Lord of the Rings, mighty and powerful, made of stone like a castle, fortified, hosting an army, immovable, impenetrable. I knew Satan’s fortress was spoken about this way and so that is what I expected to see. I was hesitant to face it, and honestly, fearful of this challenge.
Satan had battered me so badly in this area for so many years I was fearful and I often believed I was totally defeated in the area of finances and that I would never have success in it no matter what I did—as many family and friends constantly reminded me.
Yet God had also given me several personal promises, as well as so many general promises in Scripture, that I would have great victory in this area, far greater than a mere reversal of the situation, which itself would be a great victory. God encouraged me that this would become an area of very great strength in my life … if only I would believe.
So this night I pressed in, strengthening myself in God’s power to demolish Satan’s works as best I could, and the spirit of warfare, like Samson had, or like David’s Mighty Men, fell on me. Jesus later told me that “Faith is the fight against Fear,” and that’s what I seized on to destroy: FEAR! I began to pray in God’s wrath against the enemy in total confidence of HIS overpowering ability. I have to say I love being in that anointing—it’s just so powerful!
And so I began pumping myself up for a mighty struggle in the spirit, and all I would do was rely on God’s power to help me overcome this obstacle … if Satan has a fortress, God’s weapons MUST still be superior. If Satan has a garrison defending it, God MUST HAVE an ARMY far greater to attack and destroy it! OK! Let’s face it! The fight is on! Let me see it! … and then I did … and I BURST OUT LAUGHING!
This is what the Lord showed me … To put it simply, Satan’s ‘fortress’ is a TOTAL LIE.
It is not so much of a ‘fortress’ as a badly constructed play fort. First of all, it was small, not huge. Second, it was made out of tree branches and sticks held together with bits of frayed rope and pieces of string! It was basically weaker than a play fort I made when I was about nine years old. This ‘fortress’ was staffed … but by only ONE demon, which was short, fat and rather dull. Sure, he was armed … but only with a homemade spear, made from a sharp rock tied to the end of a stick and he was banging it on the floor and chanting, trying to sound like he was a numerous, powerful army, ‘Hooga chooga, hooga chooga.’ The greatest asset this great ‘fortress’ had was the hyped-up propaganda telling us lies about how powerful it was. It had no strength, no army, no weapons, just … LIES!
Really, when I saw it with God’s sight I actually broke out laughing!!! I too had believed the hype that Satan’s strongholds are a mighty fortress, and really when I saw it for what it was, it was such a JOKE!
When I was laughing at the shabby ‘fortress’ made so badly, with such useless materials I heard the demon speak like an embarrassed weakling and say, “Don’t laugh! It was all I had to build with,” which made me keep laughing all the more!
It was so weak I realized all I had to do to destroy it was just wave my hand in the air dismissively and say something like, “No, you don’t exist. There’s nothing there to even think about,” and so we destroyed that stronghold against my finances with just a wave of the hand. Then that demon ran away yelling, “Get back, get back! Here they come!”
I saw that we have been taught and have somehow believed Satan’s lies that he is powerful, and so we have never attacked him in the fullness of the Spirit in us, as it says in God’s Word to do. But when we finally build up our faith and courage in the Lord, (not in our own strength) it isn’t even a fight. Imagine the onslaught of a professional army of mighty modern military power—going up against a child’s play fort made of tied-up sticks and string—that’s God’s power against the enemy!
Yet this stronghold was preventing me from occupying a very large territory in my life, and with this stronghold gone, I could redraw the map of my life, changing the very way I live, and now be able to occupy and build on that land extensively.
Can We Build With The Same Materials?
When I realized God was talking to me symbolically in a way, I began wondering if I should ‘reclaim the materials’ from Satan’s fort, and reuse them somehow, but the Spirit told me they were not suitable building materials for anything.
I later realized that the Bible says that everything we build will be tested with fire. (1 Corinthians 3:13-15) I also later read that God’s word is a fire (Jeremiah 23:29) and there are other verses as well. So I proclaimed that all of the materials Satan used to build with would be thrown away and burned up.
Then I had to think, now that I am going to build a new life in this territory which was held back from me, what should I build with? To stop me from having access to this territory, this freedom—my finances basically—Satan used the materials “he could find,” which I understood to be lies, fear, doubt, insecurity, or my memories of past failures to discourage me. But when I build I will use the most expensive and most sturdy materials I can get, namely the Word of God, God’s Wisdom over Man’s ways; God’s plans over my ambitions from his prophecy to me, etc.
This revelation is so powerful because it debunks the lies we have all been taught and at some level all believe until we confront the reality of Satan’s power in our lives with Faith in the power of Jesus. Ask anyone to describe their idea of ‘Satan’s fortress’ and they will all say similar things as I first thought.
One person even told me this revelation was false—she felt I was not giving proper fear to the Enemy, and for a time that thought greatly discouraged me. I was wondering if it was possible for it to be a false revelation, a demonic lie, because the anointing was so powerful when I saw it, we were in such a tremendous time of intercession, and it gave me so much hope. That same day while I was privately thinking these things, my wife told me that she was in prayer, and Jesus confirmed the vision to her without me asking anyone about it. The Lord said to her, “Caleb and Joshua saw the giants in Canaan as Ed saw the fortress of Satan.” That means this vision is the truth of the reality of Satan’s ‘fortress’ when we are in faith in the ultimate Power of the Lord Jesus.
Now I suppose that the ‘giants’ if unchallenged, remain whatever Satan says they are. But if challenged in the power of Christ, not in our own power, then the power of His Word will consume Satan’s lies as fire consumes stubble and chaff.
I thank God for this revelation all the time, and share it whenever I can, because God has really encouraged me with it, and it helps me to trust in His power to deliver us from evil. Praise God! [End of Vision]
Still Too Much to Share
There’s just too many things to share so I’m having to skip over many dozens of words just in a few months alone—things on our situation, other insights or teaching he was giving us—I need to keep this focused primarily on how I learned about prophecy itself.
I will mention that my wife then fasted about the opposition to our Filipino Christian magazine and God said it was a Demon of Religion (religious spirit) and that it would fall like the walls of Jericho. He later said this magazine “must reflect Joy, peace and Love, for that is my true character.”
And it was also about this time when I met a British man, Adrian Bell, who was married to a Filipino lady, and they lived nearby in Mui Wo and who became a close friend of mine. More on him in a few pages.
How God Sees Annoying People!
Also we were still trying to help with the ministry in the small family-run Filipino church but they really did not appreciate it. First they said we were not knowledgeable enough to help as teachers so they revived their training program for new Christians, like a post-Baptism catechism. It was good for my wife I figured since she was fairly new but she had already read the Bible so much by then that when exam time came she got the second highest marks. I got the highest, higher than all their leaders.
But after this the pastor dismissed it saying it still was not enough to be a teacher or preach or do anything at all since people can be full of useless knowledge, like empty coconuts, and still can’t teach God’s word properly. He only raised objections and obstacles to stop us, but who were the people qualified to teach and lead ministry? His teenage children, of course!
We began to feel the snub very personally but I heard God say not to leave—not yet anyway!
Then the pastor held a training session on prophecy and spiritual gifts himself. I think he wanted to make sure he had the first word on this topic to take the wind out of our sails since we were both prophesying so much and wanted to start to share and teach. He found a book and taught what he was reading about, sometimes reading entire passages straight from the book and it was just so frustrating. He had no idea what he was saying personally and was getting things mixed up. Word of Knowledge is knowledge not wisdom; word of wisdom is wisdom not knowledge. Just as I was boiling over the Lord opened my eyes, or rather my heart, and for about 20 minutes during that session I could SEE the pastor through the eyes of the Holy Spirit, to FEEL the heart of the Holy Spirit towards him, and for lack of a better term God was basically in love with the pastor. He was saying such nice things about him, pointing out his good traits, his service to the community and I just remember feeling the Lord’s feelings of love towards him stronger than you would feel towards anyone else in real life. It was not a word, or a message—I was allowed to share the heart of the Lord, and all he has for us is Love.
Seeing how God sees our struggles and frustrations helped me calm down and have a more ‘sober’ perspective. Surely the God of Vision sees!
Then God gave me a vision and I saw my ministry and that pastor’s ministry and we as people were both represented as DOTS and the influence we were having was an area around us. Towards the lower section our ministries overlapped, at least they touched and shared a connection, but my ministry was much larger than his, maybe 10 times larger. Then God spoke, saying, “If you do what they say, they will follow what you do. … They will learn much from you.”
You WILL Eat Adobo!
Then we had a gathering at someone’s house and they made a Filipino dish called Adobo, and everyone was so eager to eat it! But when I smelled it, it made me sick. I couldn’t even eat one bite. The recipe calls for several ingredients but also some vinegar, which I do not like, and they obviously added an extra, extra measure to their own taste! I’d eaten food in India, China, Australia, Thailand, Singapore, Europe … and this was the worst tasting food I’d ever eaten—I didn’t eat any it was so sickening.
Later at home God spoke and said, actually very sternly, “You WILL eat Adobo!” A few years later I was pastor over some Filipina ladies and they made adobo for sharing food at church—everyone was encouraged to bring food for Sunday if they had it to share and they called it ‘Pot-Bless,’ instead of ‘pot-luck’ and I had adobo again it was so good!! It’s like a barbecue soy sauce with garlic and herb kind of taste. I have no idea what happened that first time! But God knew my first impression needed to be corrected. Now we have adobo all the time, for a season probably at least once or twice every week. It’s really good!
But also back at the Filipino family church during church service itself I had a vision, a real vision, I mean one when I was awake and in church worshiping and what I saw was three people. One was a Middle-Aged Filipina Woman; then I saw a young boy from India, I’d say maybe from South India by his appearance; but then I saw an African baby and he was crying so bitterly, his hair was not all black—probably malnourished—and it was tightly curled but sticking straight up! I assumed from this that God was calling me to help these three people groups, but he didn’t say a word at that time to explain it!
Teresa Seputis and Shandy
Then a lady from America came and hosted a seminar on prophecy, but it was not an information or teaching session so much as a practice and training group, what people now often call ‘activation’ sessions. She came back a year or two later and held a seminar on healing training. She was wonderful! Practical, empowering, no-nonsense. She was Teresa Seputis. During the worship of the healing seminar a local Hungarian pastor and prophet named Lazslo Kincs (who now goes by the name Lazslo Kings) who is a classically trained pianist as well as a very prophetically gifted minister, well he was leading the worship and I started hearing angels singing!
I was about to get excited and tell people when God spoke to me in my heart, “So what? You have GOD inside you!” Wow!
And the first visit she had a helper who was a very young man named Shandy and he prophesied so powerfully to me at a pastor’s meeting before the main meeting. He said this:
You Are to Release the Captives; Don’t Forget the Vision—It’s Important”
“I know that you are a writer and do publishing, but I saw you take a sword and start cutting things. And I saw ‘Breakthrough’ over you. I saw walls crumbling down, and there’s seed … you’re in a preparation time, where God is preparing you for what you dreamt about.
“It’s like you are on your training wheels and God is preparing you to ride your bike. There are some things that God is in the midst of doing: Preparing people, and preparing ways, places so you can go.
“And I just see, ‘Don’t lose hope!—Don’t lose the vision and the dream that God’s given you because it’s important.’
“‘Simple things,’ I heard simple things mean a lot to God. Don’t look down on the simple things. The enemy will want you to look down on the simple things but the angels are with you, they come along side of you and God is looking down and saying, ‘I love him, I love how he just does what I tell him to. No matter the cost, you’re someone who will give his life to something. Throw away everything in front of you at every cost,’ and God loves that about you. He’s going to use you very powerfully to break down walls; to bring Freedom to people; to break them from the demonic strongholds. I just see all these people getting set free; and you telling people that are in dungeons in the spirit, ‘The door’s open, you’re free,’—I see that in the church.
“There are a lot of people in the church that think they are in jail. That I just see you walking up and saying, ‘The doors are unlocked—come out.’
“And I saw a lot of people running with freedom, a lot of leaders, running with freedom because they didn’t know that they were free.
“And I saw kids too, I saw like little kids being set free; I just see this heart for kids, to minister to kids—I saw this great army of kids.
“And I saw you have the eyes to see the leaders.
“God is homing in on your eyesight, so you can see which ones are the leaders. Because the leaders will rise up and lead the rest. If you try to take on the whole group, you’ll feel overwhelmed; I just really felt like God has called you to the individual. That as you minister to the individual you are ministering to everybody else.
“So lead.
“And don’t be discouraged.
“God is very proud of you. And he is very, very proud of you.
“He loves you, and he has not forgotten you.
“I feel like this kind of this Rejection, and this Lonely thing, and God says I am right there, I am right there to give you a hug and support you, because he is your greatest support, and he is THE greatest support. And I just hear him saying. ‘Run my child, run my child,’ like a father looking at his kid on a bike, saying, ‘You can do it, you can do it,’ and he says, ‘You can do it, you have the strength.’ But the Joy of the Lord is your strength, don’t ever forget that; the Joy of the Lord is your strength, your peace and in every situation that’s what will sustain you: His joy, not anything else. The enemy will want you relying on other things. And you’ve been learning that doesn’t work.
“And I just really feel like God is bringing you back to the basics.
“That you were a man of simpleness and the enemy tried to get you to be complicated, and God is bringing you back to simple.”
Then he prayed:
“I pray that you will just comfort him you would open his ears and his heart to what you’re saying, that you would confirm everything, because you are a loving God, and you have not forgotten him, I just see other people rising up, alongside of you, your Aaron and your Hur.
“Praise God.” [End of word]
I think Shandy was only 18, maybe 20 years old. And many of the things he spoke still come fresh to mind every few weeks!
Setting the Captives Free
And what is now obvious is the fulfillment of this core idea, we are called to set captives free. Sure, but HOW? And HOW to do it to people who are already in the Church? There are people who think they are in prison, like the Church is a giant jail. This is the effect of the religious spirit, and comes from confusion when people do not understand the ministries that heal broken hearts, set captives free and enlighten them to a living relationship with the Father allowing them to enter the blessings of the Kingdom. Man’s church is bondage, but God’s Kingdom is freedom.
That is the biggest idea Jesus ever taught me, but only much later I was able to ask him to train me and he openly explained Isaiah 61 to me. I write a lot about that and you can see articles on-line about that I am sure, but I also explain it more in Chapter 20 if you can wait a bit longer.
The description of the ministry of restoration described in Isaiah 61: to heal the broken hearted, release the captives, give sight to the blind … the restoration this causes will transform people into ‘Oak Trees of Righteousness,’ a planting of the Lord, displaying his splendor, and who will then go on to rebuild the ancient generational ruins and be known as ministers, priests and even the ‘Seed’ (of Abraham, of Christ)—those whom God has blessed. It’s a very big deal.
What I discovered is that the Gospel of the Kingdom is more than the Gospel of Salvation, and the key thing a person needs to be able to possess the promised land, the Kingdom, which is within them, is to have their hearts fully healed, set free and enlightened with a personal experience of the Father. The Kingdom will come when we conquer every ‘walled city’ within our hearts. Isaiah 61 is not just the model of ministry for guided transformation, Jesus told me it is the model of our new life!!
Many years before way back in New Hampshire Elizabeth had prophesied to me saying I would learn many things from the Lord that would seem like separate ideas, like building blocks, but one day God would give me ONE BIG REVELATION that would link them all together … what she saw was God telling me his interpretation of Isaiah 61—and this is what Shandy was prophesying to me now again—but I was still pretty much clueless but God would soon begin to tell me these secrets.
Halloween Dream….
But finally, before I share some of my wife’s journaling, I also had a dream in this season preparing me for her breakdown. He gave me about 30 clear visions of what was coming but I was probably in a lot of denial and when she left I was still unprepared and totally confused.
In this Halloween Dream I was only wearing a bath towel. I mean I was naked but for the towel because I had so little money I could not afford anything for myself to wear. It was all I owned. But anyway it was Halloween so I figured people would assume it was a costume and I got back to doing what I was supposed to be doing and just kept following the Lord.
But I didn’t even have any shoes! And I looked and there were dry branches on the ground and they can be very sharp and painful if you walked on them with bare feet but I didn’t care!! I was so adamant that I was not giving up that I started stomping on the sticks even with my bare feet, breaking them, defying their power to hurt me, and then continued on my journey.
We had come to what seemed to be the last leg of our journey that was like an eco-challenge or something like a cross-country endurance trek, and next we had to cross a small stream but it was called a ‘river’ on the maps but actually it was just a tiny stream. My wife was actually already sitting on the opposite bank, but she was resting her feet on this side still, that’s first how small it was, but she was also still complaining, “We can’t cross the river! It’s too big and deep.”
That now reminds me of the vision I had about the River Guide, when God asked me, ‘What do you do when you are able to keep going but the people you are entrusted to care for are not?’
But to see her already on the other side of the ‘river’ before me, her legs spanning the whole distance, complaining that it can’t be crossed, well it wasn’t funny, it was upsetting to me.
I just jumped over while she was complaining to show her it wasn’t really an obstacle, but she ignored me, but I also saw that she was wearing clothing, had food, provisions, etc., and all I had was a bath towel and not even any shoes! I mean it, I had NOTHING but still wanted to go on following Jesus.
Her being unwilling to move or see she already had crossed this ‘insurmountable obstacle’ was making me so upset, so I decided to just leave her there and I kept walking on towards the goal alone but immediately got ambushed by all kinds of perverts and weirdos along the path. It was more than temptation, it was sick. I now knew I needed my mate to be with me to protect me as well! I was willing to go it alone if I needed to but I was unable to do this part without her with me.
So I went back to where she was and said, “OK, let’s just start this leg all over again.”
Then I saw the map showing the small ‘river’ where we were, and it showed ‘by tomorrow you’ll be over here’ but it was like 1,000 miles past the river! How can you go that far in only one day of walking? And the river that had stopped us was not even noticeable on the map on the scale of the journey. [End of Dream]
A few months later our money totally ran out and I remember sharing this dream. We needed to pay rent and buy food and owed the two sisters money who were helping me make the magazines. But when we prayed I think I heard God say my wife was hiding money. It’s preposterous! There was no money to hide.
So I shared this weird word innocently, I thought maybe it was merely symbolic of something but my wife just got up and walked away suddenly. I didn’t understand why, but then she started to cry and said it wasn’t fair. The money was hers and it’s not for me to waste. What money? And I’m not wasting anything! In the dream I remember she had ‘provision’ with her and then she said when she left her job they gave her a severance package and she secretly kept part of it for herself, so I wouldn’t even know about it.
That’s really none of my business! I wasn’t upset that she did that, it really was not my money and I didn’t want any of it. But God saw things differently and God said she was hiding it, God provided it for BOTH OF US for these expenses in FOLLOWING HIS WILL and He was the one saying all this, not me!
Talking things over with the Lord herself he asked her to use the money he gave her for what he gave it to her for, mostly household expenses but also some to pay the girls to help me finish his magazines.
I really did not feel comfortable with any of this. I am not asking for anyone’s money, especially when she obviously was not willing to even let me know it existed! I’d rather go completely without anything than even desire her money or anyone else’s. I then got worried about how God was seeing this. I don’t want to mention the people’s names in Acts who lied to God about their money and how it cost them.
That dream came in July, and our money ran out in October near Halloween when we had this conversation. But five years later, also on Halloween, was the last day we lived together. She left our family around 11 or 12 pm on Halloween night, secretly, in the middle of the night and moved out, that’s when she left the church, the ministry and our family. The dream had a double fulfillment. But maybe I’ll get to that later.
Orca Jumping—Dessert with Disney
My wife also had a dream of the impossible situation we were in and walking out on a floating pier by the shore and saying something like, “It’s not like God is going to just have a big miraculous solution appear!” Just as she said that, a huge orca, a killer whale, jumped out of the water and passed over her head and splashed down on the other side of the pier! I guess that’s exactly what God had planned!
I also had a dream of Disney giving me a big check and giving me a huge dinner party; I mostly remember the desserts. Everyone left and I was alone with all the desserts and a big check from Disney. This was many years before God ever even mentioned making a theme park!
Lastly before I share those nice words from the Lord to my wife directly I’ll mention going to the Tree of Life Church for the first time.
It was not really called that, but I want to protect their reputation so I’m going to call them the Tree of Life Church and I also changed the names of the pastors and other people when I mention them out of respect and in an abundance of caution.
But we were still trying to get our magazines produced and started to talk to other ministries and churches to get the word out. No one was very supportive, some openly said they would not help us. I even went to a church called The Tree of Life Church, which had just moved into a large office property downtown and I met with two people to discuss our project. One I will call Kurt Tomlinson, a musician, and son of the co-head-pastor Mike Tomlinson, (not their real names) and another lady, an American from the wealthy area of Discovery Bay. I had not spoken to more than one or two Americans a year for quite a long time and it was both comforting and disconcerting at the same time to sit and talk with them. How had I lost touch with my American background so completely that I was uncomfortable even meeting other Westerners like this!
More on them in a few pages, but before I get too far ahead I want to share some of the words of prophecy we were hearing from the Lord over that time, and yes it mostly came to my wife directly.
